Aspire Therapy

The Feel-Good Factor No.6: Mirror, Mirror...

It’s amazing how hard we find it to be kind to ourselves. One very simple exercise we carry out with clients who lack self-belief is to get them to list 20 complementary statements about themselves. They are then asked to repeat those statements while looking into a mirror.

This can be surprisingly difficult to do - and may prove an emotional process for some. But it is also tremendously self-affirming. It’s a great experience just to let go of those self-doubts and feel good about ourselves.

The Feel-Good Factor: No.5

Here is a simple method for raising awareness of the underlying beliefs that have helped to make you the way you are today.

In the last article for this series I spoke about how negative beliefs can contribute to problems such as low self-esteem. These beliefs are developed over time, but often have their origins in the experiences of childhood.

The Feel-Good Factor: No.4

People who suffer from low self-esteem find it difficult to overcome deeply held negative beliefs that they have about themselves. They may be persuaded to acknowledge at a rational level that their self-critical thoughts are unfair, but they can’t quite bring themselves to accept it ‘deep-down’.

Other people tell them they are successful, confident and attractive. But part of them refuses to believe this – even when all the evidence is to the contrary.

The Feel-Good Factor: No.3

Our sense of confidence can often be undermined by a troublesome inner voice. Just to become aware of that voice is a good first step towards learning to control it. Where does it come from? Who does it sound like? Does it need to be taken so seriously?

The Feel-Good Factor: No.2

Self-consciousness is a gift - part of what makes us human - but it can also be a curse. Often the problems clients bring to us arise from the fact they are too self-aware. They scrutinise every aspect of their behaviour critically and judge themselves harshly.

The Feel-Good Factor: No.1

Lots of us find it difficult to feel good about ourselves. Even when things are going well we can be reluctant to make too much of it. Is this partly superstition? A feeling that when things are going (too?) well we might, by acknowledging this, be setting ourselves up for a fall?