The Feel-Good Factor: No.2

Self-consciousness is a gift - part of what makes us human - but it can also be a curse. Often the problems clients bring to us arise from the fact they are too self-aware. They scrutinise every aspect of their behaviour critically and judge themselves harshly.

A client asked recently to create an idea in her mind of the confident self she wanted to be, thought back to how great she had felt at her daughter’s wedding. This was a time when she had been particularly self-assured and happy.

Among the phrases she offered to describe her state of mind in that situation was one that I particularly liked. She said: ‘I’m aware, but not aware’. What I think she meant by this was that she was so alive and engaged in the moment that she was able to forget herself and just enjoy the experience.

JG