The Price of Being Perfect

If you’re not a perfectionist yourself, you’ll probably know someone who is.

You’ll also know that while perfectionism can have its benefits it can also cause problems for the person themselves and for those around them.

Because the perfectionist sets themselves very high standards, they can end up feeling anxious and depressed and can run into problems with relationships

Therapy can help with these problems. But by their very nature, perfectionists may be reluctant to seek out such help, seeing it as a sign of weakness and failure.

The January edition of Psychologies Magazine suggests some exercises which can be helpful to the perfectionist who is suffering from these tendencies - exercises which they can try on their own.

So if you feel you are experiencing these problems try the following:

• Transfer the expectations you have of yourself onto another person and consider whether they seem reasonable.

• Reflect upon your childhood and the expectations placed upon you then. Were they fair and appropriate?

• Can you delegate some of your responsibilities to avoid being overburdened?

• If you worry about making mistakes, make a small one deliberately and see if it has any effect.

• Put yourself in a situation where you are inexperienced and can learn something new – an evening class for example.

• Admit to a minor error. Tell someone about it.

• Think about the cost upon yourself of the high standards you set. Is it worth it? Do the effects warrant the outcome?

• To seek help is not to admit to failure. It is to acknowledge that there are still ways in which you can change and develop.